These Moments We Like the Best
by Kanoi-chan
Summary: Kairi has a question that's been bothering her, and Lea proves to be the best option of who to obtain the answer from. AkuKai if you squint.


Prompt: Darkness

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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Looking at him, she found it odd. Looking at any of them, really, she found it odd. They had darkness in their hearts, which was simply a concept she could not grasp. Even sweet, innocent Sora had it lurking somewhere deep within him. She often found herself wondering what it felt like, exactly, but then the memory of Heartless closing in on her in the World That Never Was would resurface, and she always ended up finding that perhaps she didn't really want to know what it was like after all.

She'd thought about asking, many times in fact, but it seemed like such an odd question. Surely, for most it wouldn't even be answerable. Then, there were people like Riku, who could most certainly provide an answer but that it seemed far too cruel to ask. She'd pondered asking the king before, but felt perhaps they weren't quite on that level.

But then he came along. She'd thought about asking him a hundred times over in the months since she'd come to the Mysterious Tower. Honestly, she wasn't quite sure just why she hadn't yet asked him. Excuses such as there hadn't been a a good time and "Hey! Welcome back from the dead! Now tell me about Darkness," being rude came to mind, but those seemed weak. After all, if Kairi knew anything at all, it was how to corner a boy and demand what she wanted to know. Years living with Sora and Riku necessitated it. And really, what did she care of rudeness when it came to him? He had never treated her much better- "Hey! Your memory's back! I'm kidnapping you now, got it memorized?" came to mind, not that those had been his exact words, but it served as an accurate summarization of their first meeting.

Their eyes met from across the room, and he smirked. Dismissing his keyblade, he walked over to her.

"Something on your mind, Princess?" he asked when he reached her, coy smirk still in place.

"Not really," she replied primly, sitting up straighter. It wasn't as if she meant to act uppity around him, at least not at first, at least not since he called himself Lea and human, but somehow, she always did. He never much seemed to mind; he seemed more to find it entertaining, and so it had become their way.

He laughed, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "What's the point in even lying when you're no good at it?"

She slumped, puffing her cheeks out in a petulant pout, to which he continued laughing.

"Oh, just come on," he said, still clearly amused, as he grabbed her arm, pulling her up and around.

She stumbled, and as she regained her balance she asked, "Where are we going?"

"Away from prying eyes," he said, accompanying the statement with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. But sure enough, as she looked over her shoulder in skepticism, Yen Sid had been watching.

"Brings back memories, huh?" Lea asked as he handed Kairi a sea salt ice cream popsicle.

"Of being kidnapped? Sure does," she replied sardonically, accepting the sweet treat.

"Oh, Princess, how your cruel words wound me!"

"Somehow I doubt that," she muttered with an eye roll.

When Lea had said "away from prying eyes," he really had meant it. They'd commandeered the gummi ship and come to Twilight Town, for ice cream from the looks of it. Kairi had once thought he had an unhealthy fixation on the salty yet sweet confection, but now even she had to admit it was fairly addictive.

"Still having trouble with it?" she asked as they strolled down the street.

"It's getting there," he replied, "at least it appears majority of the time I summon it now. There's nothing more embarrassing for a guy than not being able to get his sword under control, got it memorized?" As he delivered his catch phrase, he looked her in the eyes so seriously that she couldn't help but crack a smile.

"How about you?" he asked, taking a bite out of his ice cream. "The old Princess Stick still giving you trouble?"

She shot him an annoyed glance out of the corner of her eye. "It's **called **Destiny's Embrace."

He shrugged. "Eh, Princess Stick, Destiny's Embrace, sounds the same to me."

With a huff, she rolled her eyes. "Anyway, to answer your question, it's better. Yen Sid says I'm coming along, and Sora and Riku seem proud."

"Those guys would be proud of you for counting to two," he replied casually.

She scrunched her nose at the implied insult to her intelligence, but found she couldn't quite disagree with him either.

When they reached the clock tower, Kairi took a seat. When Lea didn't do the same, she twisted around to look at him. He was just standing there, looking at her sadly.

"What's on your mind?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"What's the point in even lying when you're no good at it?" she asked, hand on her hip.

He laughed. "You got me," he said, and then he took a seat next to her. Still, he didn't answer her question.

They sat like that for awhile, watching the continually setting sun in silence. It was fine with her. She'd realized some time ago that these were the moments she liked best- no Hayner and the gang, and no Sora or Riku either. There was a bond that came from being the two more inexperienced keyblade wielders. That, or Stockholm syndrome.

"I miss them sometimes," he said, still staring out at the horizon, "especially when it's like this."

"Roxas?" she asked, watching his face.

"And Xion."

"Who's that?"

"A friend." He turned to look at her. "You remind me a lot of her." He seemed to find something about that amusing, as it made him smile. Kairi still thought it looked sad.

"Oh," was the only response she could come up with.

They returned to watching the horizon in silence.

After a beat, he said, "Your turn."

Pulling her knees to her chest, still staring ahead, she said, "Sometimes I wonder what it's like. The Darkness, I mean."

"It's probably for the best you don't know," he responded solemnly.

"I think so too." A brief pause and then she peered at him curiously. "Why do you say that?"

He snorted in amusement. "Didn't you just say you agreed with me?" But when he looked at her, she was still just staring at him with that patented Princess stubbornness. He sighed in defeat, smiling despite himself.

"I think it's part of what keeps Sora and Riku going. You're their light to come home to."

She looked down to the street below, watching the people milling around. "I feel like that's unfair."

"Why is it unfair? It means you're special."

She lowered her legs and stared intently at the palms of her hands splayed before her. "I don't feel special."

"Trust me, Princess, you are." He made to ruffle her hair, but she pushed the offending hand away.

The silence stretched on again, until, "You really want to know?"

"Yes."

Lea paused in thought. "What do you think it's like?"

Kairi's face furrowed in frustration. "Well how would I know?"

"I'm just asking what you think it's like," he pushed on.

Sighing, Kairi took a moment to think. Once more staring at the people below, she began shakily, "I guess... I think it's kind of like a sickness?" She looked to him for reassurance, and he nodded her on. She continued, a little more confident. "Like how some people just get a cold, and it doesn't really bother them too much. Meanwhile, there are others who are terminal..." she faded off, looking like she might want to say more but was unsure of the words to use.

When her silence continued, Lea nodded and looked back out at the setting sun. "So in that analogy, you have a clean bill of health?"

She shrugged noncommittally, obviously feeling insecure with her comparison. Lea leaned back, casting his gaze higher into the sky, taking note of the stars, distant worlds twinkling away, kept alive by the light of others like the girl next to him.

Finally he said, "That's not an altogether bad guess. Not entirely wrong, either. It's just a little more complicated than that."

"Then explain it to me," she pleaded.

"I don't know if I can, Princess." But when he looked at her, he knew he had to try. She looked so lost, so desperate to understand something she could never truly feel. She didn't feel special at all, just strange and different. Lea could relate. He'd felt that way back in the Organization.

"Darkness is like temptation," he started, and he prayed that was a simple enough starting point for her. He assumed princesses of Light felt temptation, at least a little. They all seemed to act out enough, anyway.

"For some people, it's not that big a deal, they have good self control. For others, it's harder. There's power in it, and you start to think 'maybe just a little, I'll be fine. I can handle it.' More often than not, it gets the better of those people. It's hard to come back from that. Even if they want to, they feel unworthy, like they have no right to touch the light."

She nodded, but she didn't ask any of the questions he expected of her- nothing about Riku, or even him. She just stayed silent, seeming to be absorbing all he said.

"That all make sense?" he asked.

"More or less..." she continued staring down at the street.

"Still don't get it, huh?"

"Not really."

"Eh, you may never. Is that really such a bad thing?"

"It just seems like such a normal part of life, and I'm missing out on it." He could tell she was getting frustrated by the way she clenched her hands together and knitted her brow.

"Princess, I don't think there's anything all that normal about any of us."

She sighed. "I guess that's true."

Lea looked over at her, expression serious. "I need you to promise me something though."

She looked back curiously. "What is it?"

"Fascination with Darkness or not, you have got to stop running off into portals with strange men, got it memorized?"

And just like that, all her frustration melted away and she was laughing.

"But I meet the most interesting people that way," she said as she bumped him with her shoulder, still smiling brightly.

And he knew, even if he missed Roxas and Xion, these were the moments he liked the best.

* * *

So even though AkuKai is my OTP, I see this as more of a friendship fic. Maybe leading up to more? Or if you want, you could see it as something more. I really have no preference. Like I said, they are my KH OTP.

Anyway, this was an interesting piece for me, both in content and style. It's definitely a little different from how I normally write (this pairing seems to bring different styles out in me). It's a little more... not necessarily train-of-thought, but perhaps train-of-action. I feel like the sparseness of explanatory detail really puts you in the middle of the action. Like... the audience is living it as the characters are. Maybe that's just me though. As far as content goes, when I got the prompt of "darkness," after thinking for a relatively short moment, this really wrote itself. I feel like Kairi and Lea probably have that relationship where she can ask him things maybe she wouldn't feel comfortable asking anyone else because he doesn't quite place her up on the pedestal that Riku and Sora do. He's honest with her. Or at the very least doesn't treat her like she's delicate. And while I can see her reminding him of Xion, I can also see him realizing she is a very different person, despite the obvious similarities.

I also figure the Darkness is something so foreign to her, and I could see that bothering her. There are a total of seven people, herself included, in all the worlds that have no Darkness in their hearts. She sees it everywhere, in the struggles her friends face and in the creatures their fighting, but she can never understand it. I can see that frustrating her a lot. I think she's probably felt slightly estranged her whole life, first for not being from Destiny Islands and having no memory of life before coming there, then when Sora and Riku were off saving worlds and fighting Heartless and Nobodies while she was left at home. Now, even though she's learning to fight and do things alongside them, she still finds herself watching things from the outside because she can't ever understand the personal struggle that comes with the power they wield. I don't know, I think I just see her as a girl constantly struggling to find a place in life where she fits in, but every time she thinks she can succeed and do that, she realizes there's another obstacle to that. I think it's why she could probably be so close to Lea. He realizes that struggle as well, has lived it.

Anyway! This author's note has stretched on far too long. But hey! Maybe I'll further explore those theories at another time. Yay for head cannon!


End file.
